Community Paper

                 Everyone has parents, whether they are present in their lives currently or not, everyone is born with parents, it’s what those parents choose to do afterward that is the important part of becoming a parent.  Parenting is not an easy job, that is often times what steers parents away from their children and that is what is the most harmful to those children. “Parents derive considerable and continuing pleasure in their relationships and activities with children. In the final analysis, parents receive a great deal ‘in kind’ for the hard work of parenting} they are often recipients of unconditional love, they gain skills, and they even pretend to immortality. Parenthood is therefore giving and responsibility, and parenting is frustrations, fears, and failures. But parenting has its own intrinsic pleasures, privileges, and profits.” (Bornstein, 2005 p. 311) Parents are in our lives to serve the purpose as being a mentor, a supporter and provide unconditional love, without those present in a growing child there can be harmful outcomes.

  There are various types of parenting that are currently being practiced in the world today and I am not here to tell you which one is right and which one is wrong, I am simply here to provide information to you about the proven benefits that children experience when they have parents in their lives, guiding them in the right direction.  The first and foremost important part of being a parent is being present in your child’s live, giving them love and making sure that they know that you support them in their decisions, but don’t take that too far, this does not mean that you support them when they are engaging or behaving in ways that they shouldn’t.  This is where the second most important part of being a parent comes in, you need to be there to discipline your child, let them know what is wrong from right, one of the most effective ways of doing that is being a good role model.  Thirdly you need to be compassionate, understanding and forgiving with your children, when they make a mistake, you need to forgive them, if they are having a bad day or a great day even, share those feelings with them, it builds a stronger relationship between the two of you, trust.

            There are proven facts that children who do not have positive relationships with their parents have a harder time throughout life, even as far as into adulthood. One of the most frequent outcomes of poor parenting is lack of self-esteem and self-confidence among those children, these children are more likely to engage in deviant behavior and are more like to indulge in drugs and alcohol as a way of escaping.  These youngster are also less likely to graduate high-school and attend college, it doesn’t just stop there, they take it onto when they become parents.  “Parents with a history of stressful childhood experiences and who are themselves the product of parental rejection may have feelings of insecurity regarding their parenting capabilities and a negative outlook about their child and life in general.” (Hsueh, 2009 p. 188)

So all in all you can see the importance of being a good parent and being there for your child, take these years while your child is growing up to bond with them and form a great relationship, it will benefit both of you in the long run.  You need to understand that it isn’t going to be easy, there are going to be some hard times, but there are resources in our community that you can reach out to and you can also talk with family members and others who themselves have gone through the process of becoming a parents and the live of actually being a parent. Don’t let your little ones hurt from mistakes that you make, they deserve to live their life to the fullest and without your help it is going to be extremely difficult for them and they are less likely to find their way to that life.

References:

Bornstein, M. (2005). Infant and child development. (Vol. 14, pp. 311-314). Retrieved from http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com.ezproxy.lib.utah.edu/store/10.1002/icd.394/asset/394_ftp.pdf?v=1&t=hdlubeh4&s=777ea34444046699a672ace1e488e47d07d4d8df

Hsueh, A. C. (2009). Qualitative reports of problems in cohabiting relationships: Comparisons to married and dating relationships.. (Vol ed., Vol. 23(2), pp. 175-193). College Station, TX: American Psychological Association.